Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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