Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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