xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
