Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
