In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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