awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
