That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
