do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
