omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
