True but thats because hes a fetus.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
