Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
