How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
