I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
