Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
