We won't sleep together?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
