why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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