Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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