just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
