we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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