Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
