Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
