worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
