i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
