May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
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