Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
