If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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