he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
