Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
