the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
