why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
