Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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