I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
