oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
