ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
