I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
