I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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