You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
