i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
