just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
