So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
