I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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