the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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