I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
