I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
