I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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