Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
