He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
