In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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