I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
