How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
