Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
